ajfclark Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 What do you call the bloke with no arms or legs that swam Bass Straight? Clever Dick. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini2544 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 What do you call a Fly with it's wings pulled off? A walk.. What do you call the same Fly with it's legs pulled out? A cripple.. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 For those who haven’t tried Blindfolded Archery yet, you don’t know what you’re missing! 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 13 Share Posted March 13 Scientists have recently grown vocal chords in a Petrie Dish. The results speak for themselves. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 They tried to tell me that I would be no good at poetry because of my Dyslexia. But so far I have made three vases and a nice teapot! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators cwispy Posted March 16 Administrators Share Posted March 16 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 I have a friend whose bakery burned down last night. Now their business is toast. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Shazza walks into the kitchen and finds Bruce with a fly swatter. "Waddaya doin?" She asked. "Huntin Flies" He responded. "Oh. Kill any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 blokes, 2 sheilas," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How'd ya know that?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator. He stood up on the counter and announced, "If i stick my cock and balls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink." The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee. So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws. A few moments later he hit it on the head with a beer bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch. As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try. A hush blew over the crowed. All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back. "I would," said the blonde lady, "if you promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle." 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMacauley Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 Paddy was sat at the bar when his friend Mick came in on crutches with two black eyes. Paddy asked "What happened to you Mick?" Mick replied "I got into a fight with Murphy" Paddy said "But Murphy's only a wee fella. He must have had something in his hand to beat you up this bad" Mick said "He did. A shovel" Paddy said "Well why didn't you have something in your hand" Mick said "I did. It was Mrs Murphy's left breast. And while it is a thing of great beauty it was totally useless in a fight 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razorsedge Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 (edited) Edited May 13 by razorsedge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhank Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 The Northern rivers Shirley club was at work today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhank Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micky Posted May 20 Share Posted May 20 This woman was lonely as Thanksgiving was approaching. She didn’t want to celebrate alone and fancied a bit of adventure, so she posted an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Looking for man to share Thanksgiving with these qualifications: Won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, is great in bed.” She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but none of the men who called took her fancy. Then one day her doorbell rang. When she opened the door, there was a man there with no arms and no legs. He said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.” So the woman asked, “What makes you think you’re great in bed?” Bob replied, “I rang the door bell, didn’t I?” 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pop Bumper Pete Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 For the ladies How do your scare your gynecologist? Learn how to be a ventriloquist 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators cwispy Posted May 25 Administrators Share Posted May 25 In honour of Douglas Adams Towel Day. A quote from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhank Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pop Bumper Pete Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 5 hours ago, oldhank said: She has a-peel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhank Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 53 minutes ago, Pop Bumper Pete said: She has a-peel Hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Easy Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 What did Scott Morrison say after he lost his pirme ministership and the election? Its not my job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators cwispy Posted May 28 Administrators Share Posted May 28 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He just needs to hold it up, and the whole world revolves around him! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini2544 Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 How many Blondes does it take to open a bottle of Peroxide? All of them! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhank Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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