AA's JOKE OF THE DAY please add to daily.

[Replay]

[needlebat]

Fun fact, genetically, the egg came first. To answer the question, you need a ridiculously specific definition of a chicken, so that the parents are not chickens, and their offspring, through a mutation in the sex cell(s), is a chicken. An organism's DNA does not change through its life, so a not-chicken can't become a chicken. The first chicken was a mutation, and came from an egg. That is unless your definition of a chicken does not include hatching from an egg, and that's going to be a mighty odd chicken.

[Gemini2544]

9 hours ago, needlebat said:

Fun fact, genetically, the egg came first. To answer the question, you need a ridiculously specific definition of a chicken, so that the parents are not chickens, and their offspring, through a mutation in the sex cell(s), is a chicken. An organism's DNA does not change through its life, so a not-chicken can't become a chicken. The first chicken was a mutation, and came from an egg. That is unless your definition of a chicken does not include hatching from an egg, and that's going to be a mighty odd chicken.

Actually the true answer is "The Dinosaur" as birds evolved from Dinosaurs. Further still "Fish" as Dinosaurs evolved from the marine life.

[RMacauley]

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.
After about 20 minutes, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confessed... "Not with a daffodil

[luke]

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?…..

….because she had no arms!

 

 

 

knock knock..

(who’s there)?…

 

 

not the little girl 

[oldhank]

15 minutes ago, luke said:

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?…..

….because she had no arms!

 

 

 

knock knock..

(who’s there)?…

 

 

not the little girl 

 

[cwispy]

I went to my Grandparents house to walk his dog for him. As I was leaving my grandfather called out "Don't forget Poo bags!". "Ok" I said,  "Come on Nana! 

 

 

A friend of mine had a penis extension, now his house looks really stupid!

 

 

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Grandad!

Shit, stop the funeral

 

 

We couldn't decide whether to have nana cremated or buried. So in the end, we let her live.

 

 

My grandfather asked me how to print on his new computer. I said just "Control P". He said I haven't been able to do that for years!

 

 

They say you will find the love of your life when your not looking. Which is true. But by then I had run her over.

[Gemini2544]

[Gemini2544]

[Gemini2544]

[KJS]

[furballx]

13 hours ago, Gemini2544 said:

(Homer voice) "MMMmmmmmmm, Floor Sandwich........"

[Gemini2544]

[Gemini2544]

[cwispy]

 

 

[Gemini2544]

[cwispy]

The wife said "my mother had started walking 10 miles every day."

The husband replied "Thats fantastic! By the end of the month she will be 300 miles away!"

 

My girlfriend was upset. She said you always did fancy my sister more than me.

To cheer her up, I told her she was very observant!

[cwispy]

My best friends wife is a born again christian and we do not get along at all. The other day she called me up to yell at me, saying I am a terrible influence on her husband because he called her a bad name. 

I said what, did he call you a Bitch!?

She said No, he did not use the B word!

I said uh oh, did he call you a cunt?

She said No!

I said, then he didnt hear it from me!

[cwispy]

A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath he asked "Please may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later?"

The nun agreed. A moment later, two military police ran up and asked "Sister have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied "He went that way!"

After the MP's ran off, the solder crawled out from under her skirt and said "I can't thank you enough sister. You see I dont want to go to Iraq"

The nun said "I completely understand."

The soldier added "I hope I am not rude, but you have a great pair of legs."

The nun replied "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either!"

 

[Gemini2544]