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cwispy last won the day on February 22

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  1. Some people are such treasures that all you want to do is bury them!
  2. There is another old thread here
  3. Given that the post is more than 8 years old, I am not surprised it does not work.
  4. The wife was complaining that I do not listen, or something like that!
  5. Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly north for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly north. In a short time Ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him. The moral of the story: 1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy. 2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend. 3. If you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!
  6. Dear Sir, I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous because after being married for 7 years and having 7 children I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless. After I was married, I was advised to use the "Rhythm Method". Despite trying the Tango and The Rhumba my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the cha cha cha. Apart from that, where do you get a band at 5 o'clock in the morning? A Doctor suggested we use the safe period. At the time we were living with the in-laws and we to wait for 3 weeks for a safe period when the house was empty. Needless to say, it didn't work. A lady of of several years experience informed us that if we made love whilst breast feeding we would be alright. It's hardly like Newcastle Brown Ale but I did end up with smooth skin, silky hair, and feeling very healthy and my wife was pregnant. Another old wives tale that we heard, was that if my wife jumped up and down after intercourse, this would prevent pregnancy. After constant breast feeding, including my earlier attempts, if my wife jumped up and down she would finish up with two black eyes and eventually knock herself unconscious. I asked a chemist about the sheath, he demonstrated how easy it was to use, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which didn't really surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex stretched over thumb, as he showed me, can possibly prevent babies. The Dutch-Cap came next, we were hopeful of this, as it didn't interfere with our sex lives at all. But alas It gave my wife severe headaches. We were given the largest size available, but it was still too tight across the forehead. Finally we tried the Pill. At first it kept falling out, but then we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started putting it between her knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near. This worked for a while, until one night when the wife forgot the pill. You must appreciate my problem. If this operation is unsuccessful I will have to revert to Oral Sex, although just talking about it surely can never be a substitute for the real thing. Yours Desperately,
  7. When someone says "You don't know Jack Shitt!" Now you'll know the entire story. Jack Shitt was the son of Owe Shitt and Awe Shitt. Owe Shitt the fertiliser magnate, married Awe Shitt who ran a country hotel - The kneedeep Inn. Jack Shitt eventually married Noe Shitt and together they produced six children. Sadly their first child Holy Shitt passed away shortly after birth. Next came the twin sons, Deep Shitt and Dip Shitt. Then they had daughters, Fulla Shitt and Giva Shitt. Their last child was named Bull. As time went on, Deep Shitt married Dumb Shitt, a high school dropout. Deep Shitt's twin brother, Dip Shitt, married Lotta Shitt, who gave birth to a son Chicken Shitt. Fulla Shitt and Giva Shitt married the Happens brothers. The Shitt-Happens children are Dawg Shitt, Byrd Shitt and Hawse Shitt. Bull Shitt married a spicy Italian number Pisa Shitt and together they await the birth of their first child Baby Shitt. So the next time someone says "You don't know Jack Shitt" you can say "Not only to I know Jack Shitt, but I know the entire Family as well"
  8. A bloke walked into the pub accompanied by an Emu and a Cat. They all sat at the bar and the bloke ordered and paid for three beers. They drank the beers, and the bloke ordered three more. This time, the Emu paid. But when the next round came up the bloke had to shout again, because the cat wouldn't. And so it went for a while, with the bloke and the emu taking it turns to shout three beers while the Cat never paid a penny. Eventually, the barman wandered over and spoke to the bloke. "I've never seen a bloke drinking with an Emu and a Cat before" he said. "I've noticed that you and the Emu are doing all the buying. What's the story?" "Well", the bloke explained, "I was down at the beach one day when I found an old bottle, half buried in the sand. I dug it up, uncorked it, and out popped a Genie. He'd been trapped in the bottle for a thousand years, and he was so pleased to be released he granted me a wish." "I asked for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy.... and i've been stuck with these two bastards ever since!"
  9. As the title says, I am always always on the lookout for Konami boards around the 1980 to 1995 era in non working condition. They need to be complete and possibly repairable. Although I will also consider scraped boards depending on condition.
  10. Everything I have read suggests the dumps in Mame are bad. Hence I was wanting to confirm against known good dumps/chips. Would be easy if I had a working board, but I dont.
  11. Thanks for the reply. They are labelled as A-19668 through to A-19673. I am trying to verify if the ones on the boards I am looking at are good or bad. Very hard to tell without either a working board or a dump of the pals.
  12. Just wondering if anyone happens to have dumps of the PALs for Cruis'n USA?
  13. Thanks everyone. I think that image is very appropriate @extendo 🤣
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