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  • #16
    Originally posted by namastepat View Post
    I went and took the first step to bettering my mental health last week. Spoke to a counsellor and then visited a GP to get a full checkup and a bloodtest. Next week, I will be going back to the doc to start a mental health plan. I have been struggling for years, particularly with drinking. For the last 3 weeks I have completely cut out weeknight drinking, going from anywhere between 3-6 beers every night to nothing between Sunday-Thursday. It's been tough, but it's making a difference and is giving me a goal to work towards. It also means that on Friday and Saturday night, relaxing with a few beers has a bit more of a special meaning. I hit a point this year where I was so burnt out from work and kids that my pinball and arcade hobbies didn't even make me happy anymore. I knew something was wrong when the only thing that kept me sane was beer.

    Take it from me, do not leave it too late. If you're struggling, seek help. I've got a long way to go, but seeking help was the first step and it took me far too long to do that.
    Sounds all too familiar mate. I got to a point where I'd walk aimlessly for hours in the middle of the night. All good now, but it's hard to see a good point when you get so bad. It's worth it though.

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    • #17
      Just be aware that for some people this is the worse day of the year. Heaps of people asking "Are you ok?" but with no tools to deal with the resulting conversation can lead to some pretty exciting explosions.
      Live on Twitch, when I can at random times | twitch.tv/ajfclark | You can vote for what machine I play, click here, follow my channel and type '!vote' in chat for details | Movember: mobro.co/ajfclark

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      • #18
        Some tips here on how to start a conversation.

        https://www.ruok.org.au

        Also, importantly, as ajfclark pointed out above, it gives guidance on where to get help.
        My Twitch stream - twitch.tv/bigredbird1

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        • #19
          Originally posted by rusty_dagger View Post
          My work shirt for the day [emoji3526]
          https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...f4826fe064.jpg
          https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...0ff6304408.jpg


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
          Thought I recognized that door mat...

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          • #20
            Originally posted by namastepat View Post
            I went and took the first step to bettering my mental health last week. Spoke to a counsellor and then visited a GP to get a full checkup and a bloodtest. Next week, I will be going back to the doc to start a mental health plan. I have been struggling for years, particularly with drinking. For the last 3 weeks I have completely cut out weeknight drinking, going from anywhere between 3-6 beers every night to nothing between Sunday-Thursday. It's been tough, but it's making a difference and is giving me a goal to work towards. It also means that on Friday and Saturday night, relaxing with a few beers has a bit more of a special meaning. I hit a point this year where I was so burnt out from work and kids that my pinball and arcade hobbies didn't even make me happy anymore. I knew something was wrong when the only thing that kept me sane was beer.

            Take it from me, do not leave it too late. If you're struggling, seek help. I've got a long way to go, but seeking help was the first step and it took me far too long to do that.
            this hit home, thank you for posting
            sigpic

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            • #21
              Originally posted by ajfclark View Post
              Whilst I like the idea of RUOk day, I think it needs be be more like RUOk year every year. There also needs to be a little more focus on what to do when someone says "no, I'm not ok". Here's a chart that's a useful start:



              https://www.projectrockit.com.au/blo...e-answer-is-no
              Just noticed the link at the bottom of this post is now incorrect. This is the article I linked to originally: https://www.projectrockit.com.au/ruo...-answer-is-no/

              And thanks [MENTION=21241]DAG[/MENTION] for highlighting that I said exactly the same thing last year. Good to know my material is still fresh.
              Live on Twitch, when I can at random times | twitch.tv/ajfclark | You can vote for what machine I play, click here, follow my channel and type '!vote' in chat for details | Movember: mobro.co/ajfclark

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              • #22
                Originally posted by bwodie View Post
                this hit home, thank you for posting
                Mate, if it helps, I am happy to have posted. I am one of those classic Aussie guys who doesn't have feelings and sure as shit doesn't talk about them to others. Pretty sure I have literally never had a conversation about emotions with my dad in my entire life and I am 37.

                I am only just now realising how totally unhealthy that is and how I had been self-medicating myself with alcohol as a means of drowning out emotions that I really should have been dealing with in a more mature way. It's led to me reaching a point in my life where I have realised I haven't been happy in years.

                Don't be like me.

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                • #23
                  Mate, I get it entirely....
                  Been there a few times and as per most I didn't even know WTF was going on in life....
                  I rarely get much chat from Dad especially in regards to feelings.
                  As you know I have a few years on you but the whole Dad relationship can be extremely hard. I think in my case that Dad was never brought up to express feelings. In my opinion this case has more to do with timing and circumstance. He and his brother and sister, mother & Father left Europe and headed to Australia with most of their friends victims of the war. Most deceased. These things were never talked about. Dad also never talks about Vietnam. I make sure I tell my Kids that I love them and at 14, 18 & 20 I get awesome responses. I tell Dad the same thing and he struggles. Different upbringings and circumstances have different outcomes, but in our cases we need to make a change and talk things out. Sometimes even talk shite about our problems or concerns. There is no need to do it alone. But as you have stated don't waste time doing something about it. Even if that means saying. Hey bud, your shout, lets have a chat. Doesn't even need to be about your feelings. Interaction is the first step. It is far more common than we all think, this problem regarding being OK.
                  Never be afraid to ask or speak out. It's not like the old saying. Better to be thought of as a dill than to open one's mouth and reveal all doubt.
                  Speak up....The decent people in life will listen....
                  See you at houseball soon?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by namastepat View Post
                    Mate, if it helps, I am happy to have posted. I am one of those classic Aussie guys who doesn't have feelings and sure as shit doesn't talk about them to others. Pretty sure I have literally never had a conversation about emotions with my dad in my entire life and I am 37.

                    I am only just now realising how totally unhealthy that is and how I had been self-medicating myself with alcohol as a means of drowning out emotions that I really should have been dealing with in a more mature way. It's led to me reaching a point in my life where I have realised I haven't been happy in years.

                    Don't be like me.
                    I'm quite different, very open to talking about depression/emotion, a very supporting shrink as a father, but still, even with that can find myself in the rut you have posted. When in reality you are very lucky to have the life you do, yet you are unable to find peace or happiness. Your advice is very sound, and I am very sure there are plenty of others out there that have the same and just need to make the first jump/step.
                    sigpic

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                    • #25
                      Opinion: Mental illness isn't a fight, it's a marathon without a finish line

                      http://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-1...onent/11505976


                      Sent from my CPH1701 using Aussie Arcade mobile app
                      Wanted: Aquarius backglass, any Gottlieb EM bits and pieces - nothing is junk to me

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                      • #26
                        please also realize the person you are tring to help may not want your help

                        many people have heard about my medical issues and have tried to give advice , not listened to my replies and put me back on an backward spiral

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                        • #27
                          Thought I'd revive this, as I have had a couple of people ask how I am going and I have an important update to share.

                          I went to the doc, and he said I had all the signs of clinical depression. He told me to go talk to a psych, so I booked in for an appointment. To be honest, the psych didn't help much at all, but he did provide a second opinion that agreed with the doc's diagnosis. He told my doc to prescribe me a very basic anti-depressant, it's one of the most commonly used ones the world over and the active ingredient is Fluoxetine.

                          I cannot stress enough how life changing it has been for me. I have been taking it for a month and it has quite literally turned me into a different person. I used to get home from work and just be so exhausted and so over it, being happy and enthusiastic all day at work used to mean I had nothing left in the tank for my family when I got home. I used to drink 4-6 beers a night just to relax and help me sleep, but of course, alcohol only gives the illusion of good sleep, you don't get proper restful sleep, it just helped to put me to sleep.

                          I have totally cut out weeknight beer now, I even have beers in the fridge all week that remain untouched, which is amazing for me. I only drink on the weekend, and only after 7pm. I still probably enjoy a bit too much on Friday and Saturday night, but it's still a huge cut back for me.

                          I am happier, I feel better waking up every morning, I am better with my wife and kids and just in general, my life is so much more relaxed.

                          It makes me wonder how much of my life I have wasted being angry and unstable and how long it took me to fix this.

                          This is a shout out to anyone else who was like me. Don't fear the doc, don't feel ashamed of taking medication. I take one tiny pill each morning and it has totally turned my life around. I was stuck in the worst rut I have ever been in and now I am happier than I have been in years.

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                          • #28
                            Great that you found a solution. It's also great that your talking about the experience. If only more men shared their problems, talking about it is a great step in the right direction. Well Done.
                            Gemini2544's 4th Pinball meet Saturday 21/03/2020

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                            • #29
                              Good for you for doing it mate, and good for you for talking to the little world here about it.
                              Must be hard to word it, but if it helps one person in some small way then you've done this small world and the bigger one a solid.

                              I always used to tell people In my work role as a delegate that a psychologist can give you some tools to help you manage things. Who can say they have too many tools?
                              In; Deadpool, The Hobbit, Whirlwind, Genie, Lost World, Hurricane, Pinball Magic, Royal Flush,
                              Tommy, Spy Hunter, Orbit 1, Sorcerer, Tales from The Crypt, Houdini, Flash, Street Fighter 2.
                              Looking for;
                              Space Invaders, Ripleys Believe It or Not.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by namastepat View Post
                                SNIP.....To be honest, the psych didn't help much at all, but he did provide a second opinion that agreed with the doc's diagnosis......SNIP.
                                Great result. Everyone deserves to be healthy in life and sometimes we need a push to get there.

                                On the comment I quoted above, I would advise others reading that if you do not hit it off with one psych be prepared to go and try another. Not every doc will hit the same chords and relate to you in particular. Like any medical professional you may need to try a few before you hit on the right one.

                                Glad it worked out for you.

                                Dave
                                ************************************************** *******************
                                Remember--The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

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